Frequently Asked Questions
Frequently Asked Questions

Frequently Asked Questions About Christianity, Answered Honestly!

Did God choose our Husbands
and Wives for us?

-by Tony Warren

    The answer to that question is not really as simple as it may first appear. It could be anything from, No, to not necessarily, to yes! Is it possible that God placed us in a situation where we would meet and marry a certain individual who is right for us? Yes, without question. Every good thing comes from God! But every sinful thing that we do is of our own choosing. So if we marry in sin, No, God did not choose that husband/wife for us. He merely allowed us to mary them. Just as he doesn't intervene and allows us to sin in other ways. However, even in that relationship, it may be a difficult thing to understand, but God can use something sinful we do, to His Glory. He may work through that to fulfill His purposes.

It would seem that God normally allows us to marry who we will marry, knowing full well the results. But we can't say God necessarily chose them, because the marriage may well have been grossly sinful and a transgression of His divine laws. For example a believer may marry an unbeliever (which is very typical in our day). God did not choose for that believer to sin by marrying that unbeliever. We know God does not commit sin, therefore we know that God didn't choose this sinful marriage for him/her. It was man's own sinful choice and not God's. And so I believe that we are safe in saying that God did not choose that spouse for that believer.

But we have to be careful, because on the other hand God knew full well who our husband or wife would be, and made no attempt to stop it (as He very well could have) but may work out His divine will through that marriage nevertheless. For if the Children of this marriage become Saved, that means that God has worked through this sinful marriage to form that Child chosen from before the foundation of the world. For everyone is unique, and only particular parents can produce a particular child. i.e., in order for me to be me, I had to be the product of the particular mother and father that I am. Any other, and I wouldn't be the same unique human being that I am, I would be another unique human being. God knew this and works through these things to fulfill His will and purpose. Nevertheless, a sinful act like a marriage that should never have come to fruition for one reason or another cannot be spoken of as "God choosing that for us". God may use it, but He doesn't choose it.

On a side note, it is unfortunate that many Theologians are quick to say that God chose this soul mate for you, or God put these two together, and it was divine providence or a match made in heaven, but when that marriage relationship falls apart, these very same Pastors and Theologians are the first ones to give unscriptural counsel saying, "God wouldn't want you to stay in a relationship like this". ..as if God chose the relationship, but didn't foresee these marital problems and now has changed His mind. It's a totally warped and self serving doctrine, for God doesn't divinely guide us into a sinful marriage. The fact is, inconsistency is the hallmark of error. They can't have it both ways. If God chose our husbands or wives, then He most certainly did not make a mistake. But this again is typical of the will of man where he chooses to rationalize away anything that he wants to do at any particular time. Any sin into which we get ourselves, we get into by our own willfulness and choosing, and not because God chose a husband or wife for us and made a mistake. We get into these bad relationships because of the bondage of our will, not the will of God.

If God chooses a wife or husband for us, He'll also choose that we'll endure and remain bound to our husband/wife by His law so long as we both shall live. That's His choosing


Copyright ©2000 Tony Warren
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Created 1/23/00 / Last Modified 1/23/00
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