Rich,
My husband was an elder in the church we attended and this topic had to be addressed. Here is the result of much study, and Scripture comparison. I hope this will help you in this difficult matter. I also hope you will find the courage, faith, and love to do what honors our Lord.
What does God have to say regarding divorce and remarriage?
Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
God describes a man and woman coming together in marriage as having become a single flesh. They are no longer two. If the two become one, how can the two be divided for any cause?
Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
We clearly see that when God instituted marriage, He meant it to be for life.
Rom 7:2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
1Co 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
If God never intended for divorce why do so many preachers and churches teach that it is biblically permissible for believers to divorce for fornication?
Mat 5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Looking at these verses in isolation from the rest of the Bible it would certainly appear that God is allowing divorce on the grounds of adultery. But we cannot understand exactly what God is teaching unless we look at these verses in their proper context.
In both of the above verses Christ is dealing with a problem of hardness of heart. The Pharisees are the teachers of the law. As teachers they fully know what the law says regarding divorce. When we look at the exact wording of the law we get a better picture of how the people were using the wording of the law to suit their own ungodly purposes and their hardheartedness.
De. 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
The Pharisee’s are testing Christ and trying to show Him to be a false teacher. So they ask Him a question which they already have the answer for. They know the answer because it is clearly written in the law.
Mat 19:3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
The Pharisee’s know that the uncleanness spoken of in the law was to be only for sexual uncleanness, or adultery. But they very coyly ask Christ if the Law of Moses permitted divorce for EVERY CAUSE.
Christ answered them:
Mat 19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh
Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mat 19:7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away
Mat 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
In verse 9 Christ is not saying that it is permissible to divorce for adultery, but that adultery was to have been the only cause for divorce in the Law of Moses. The Israelites were using the wording (uncleanness) of the law to put away (divorce) their wives for whatever uncleanness suited them. There found many causes for uncleanness. Any type of bodily discharge would suffice. If it had not been for the hardness of their own hearts God would not have allowed for a bill of divorcement to have been written. God clearly tells us what He thinks of divorce:
Mal 2:16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
God hates divorce. Divorce for any cause is not biblically supported. If it were we would have contradiction in the Word of God. And the Word cannot contradict.
Mar 10:2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.
Mar 10:3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you?
Mar 10:4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.
Mar 10:5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
Mar 10:6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
Mar 10:7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
Mar 10:8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
Mar 10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mar 10:10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.
Mar 10:11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
Mar 10:12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
These verses in Mark show a little more clearly what God had allowed in the law and clearly what God had intended when He brought together man and woman to become one flesh. These verses show no exception at all for divorce. In fact they clearly teach that if a believer divorces and remarries he/she commits adultery. We see this again in Luke:
Lu 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
Again, there is no exception for adultery. God clearly states that there is to be no divorce for any cause between believers. Of course this law applies to all mankind, but unbelievers will not accept any of God’s laws including this one.
According to the view of some teachers/preachers, churches, there is biblically one more cause whereby Christians are freed from the law.
1Co 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1Co 7:13 And the woman which hath a husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
Many use verse 15 to teach that if the unbelieving spouse chooses to divorce the believer, this then frees the believer from the bondage of the law, thereby allowing the believer to remarry. But when we view this verse in light of the many other verses of Scripture that clearly speak of being bound in marriage until death, we see this cannot be referring to the bondage of the law. We are called to be at peace with all men. When believers are unequally yoked with unbelievers their marriage could be anything but peaceful. So what bondage is God telling us we are free from? God says in vs. 15 that He has called us to peace. Since there may or may not be peace in an unequally yoked marriage, God is saying that if the unbeliever desires to leave the marriage, then the believer is freed from the legal contract of an unholy union, but this is not giving the believer permission to remarry. In fact according to the law of God, which is still intact, we are called adulterers and adulteresses if we remarry while our spouse still lives. The law of being bound in marriage until God separates us in death is still there. We are free from the bickering that may come from this marriage, but we must never marry again, unless or until our former spouse dies.
With unbiblical, liberal teaching in many Christian churches today, divorce is as common as grass. Both husbands and wives are given permission and sometimes-even blessings in their desire to divorce. Is it any wonder that the divorce rate within Christian circles today is above 51%? What a sad commentary on how we twist the Word of God to suit our selfish purposes.
Rom 7:2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
Rom 7:3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
1Co 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
The disciples themselves saw much difficulty with the teaching of Christ regarding divorce and remarriage. Christ had indeed given a difficult pill to swallow.
Mat 19:10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
Will we continue to hold to our manmade doctrines on this topic, or will we yield to the teachings of Christ?