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Author Topic: Marriage And Divorce  (Read 38329 times)

Sue Landow

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Re: Marriage And Divorce
« Reply #15 on: October 16, 2003, 04:20:07 AM »
Thanks for the response. You say without knowing particulars, you can't say. Does that mean that there are particulars which would allow me to divorce? How about adultery. Is that grouds for divorce, because this is what my pastor says.


Rich, You cannot listen to what your pastor says, nor what people may say in this forum. As christians we are obligated to listen to the Word of God. Even though we are saved by grace, we still have to be obedient to the laws against sin. Do not ever think that grace excuses sin.

 Ro 6:14 For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.
 15 What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.
 16 Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?

You do forgive your wife, and that means that you forgive as God forgives, and put her sin far away from her. There is no cause for divorce. Work it out between you, her, and the Lord. Build trust, and love her as God loves you. Do not think of divorce because God says "what He has joined together, let no man put asunder".

Most of all pray for her. Prayer changes things. Pray for your marriage, and have faith that God works all things for good to them that love him.


"And again he said, Whereunto shall I liken the kingdom of God? It is like leaven, which a woman took and hid in three measures of meal, till the whole was leavened". Luke 13:20-21

Layla

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Re: Marriage And Divorce
« Reply #16 on: October 16, 2003, 10:34:33 PM »
Greetings Rich

I hope you realize that I am not suggesting that you divorce your wife.  I was negligent to join this thread without offering you some words of hope or edification to gain strength.  I agree with Sue that forgiveness and prayer is the most important thing for you to concentrate on at this time.  Ask the Lord to lead you.  My prayers go out to you that the Lord strengthen and guide you.

To those who would place me "outside the camp" because I disagreed with the "tone" of the responses, I do not wish to debate with you and nitpick at our responses to one another.  Obviously, we see things differently, and I'll just leave it at that.  

Peace,
Layla

Gal 3:3   Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?


Pilgrim

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Re: Marriage And Divorce
« Reply #17 on: October 17, 2003, 09:12:39 AM »
I am struggling with the issue of divorce and am looking for your views on the issue. My pastor tells me that in the case of my wife committing adultery, it is proper for me to divorce her because of the exception for fornication.

Rich. This is where much of the liberal church goes in error these days. Instead of seeking advice friom the bible, they seek the views of other fallible men, or of their pastor.

The advcice that you can just leave your wife and marry another because God is love and will forgive you is from the devil. We must never sin because we know God will forgive us. I would suggest you click on this link and read this article along with bible in hand.

http://www.mountainretreatorg.net/bible/divorce.shtml

It's so easy for everyone to tell you that scripture permits you to divorce, but you need to validate that from scripture yourself. I hope this will help in your search for the truth.
"And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins." -Matthew 1:21

Sandy

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Re: Marriage And Divorce
« Reply #18 on: October 17, 2003, 10:49:36 AM »
Rich,

The easiest thing to do is to point an accusing finger of blame at your wife, and seek to find those who will validate, Biblically, why you have every right to divorce a sinful adulteress.  Even a well meaning pastor, in his ignorance has given you cause for divorce.

The second easiest thing to do is to treat your wife in such an unloving, and unforgiving way that she finally feels that there is nothing left to do, but to seek for divorce.  You are vindicated, after all does not the Bible tell us that if the unbeliever chooses to separate from the marriage covenant then you are free from bondage?  

The hard thing, and God honoring thing to do is to forgive, and truly love your wife the way that Christ loves, and gave Himself for His Church.  Contrary to popular opinion love is NOT something we fall in and out of.  When asked how often we are to forgive one who offends us, Christ' answer leaves no doubt we are ALWAYS to forgive.  

When you speak of your wives sin, I can understand your pain and anger.  But just because she is the one who committed this sin that does not leave you blameless.  Perhaps you should ask yourself why your wife needed another man to give her whatever lacked in your marriage?  Was, and is there real communication between the two of you?  Did you put your wife and her needs, and wants always first?  I don't know all the details, but I do know that love is a committment, and it takes long, hard effort.  When a husband truly loves his wife, in a way that honors God, then she would have no reason to feel anything but that love.  

Just try it Gods way, and see what happens.  You just may be surprised at how close you and your wife can become.  And the loving relationship the two of you can build together is well worth all the hard work.  You will be glad that you did it God's way...Biblically.

Layla

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Re: Marriage And Divorce
« Reply #19 on: October 18, 2003, 09:10:23 AM »
"Romans 8:2  For THE LAW of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from THE LAW of sin and death.

Did you catch that? The Law has made me free from The Law. Ironic, no?

Romans 8:3-4. For what THE LAW could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh,  that the righteous requirement of THE LAW might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

Did you catch that? What The Law could not do, God did, so that the righteous requirement might be fulfilled. What righteous requirement? The righteous requirement of THE LAW. Those who walk according to the Spirit FULFILL/ESTABLISH the law. They do not make void the law, they establish it. They do so by GOD'S SPIRIT. This is THE LAW of the Spirit life in Christ Jesus. This is the newness of the Spirit. To be able to fulfill the law by GOD DOING IT. This is the better promises that are given in the New Covenant. The "flesh" due to it's weakness is not required to fulfill the law by it's feeble power or attempt. The body is promised to fulfill the law by the power and might of the HOLY SPIRIT poured upon all flesh.

The law is spiritual. That which is spiritual is ETERNAL. The law is eternal. I am carnal, not the law. The law exposes my carnality, my weakness. The law WITNESSES to the righteousness of GOD not the righteousness of man.

Ro 3:21  But now the righteousness of God apart from the law is revealed, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets,

The Law is the The Law. It is a double edge sword. It kills and makes alive. It decreases the outward man while increasing the inward man.

Romans 7:25. I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin."  [o'toole]    

What did Christ say about the law.

Mat 22:36-40     Master, which [is] the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second [is] like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.  On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.   
   
Jhn 13:34-35     A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.  By this shall all [men] know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.    
   
Jhn 15:10-12     If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.  These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and [that] your joy might be full. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.    

Love one another as I have loved you.  Pretty powerful!.  Rich I would bet if you loved your wife like Christ has loved you, you wouldn't be thinking divorce but rather looking towards problem solving, not thinking separation but reconciliation.  When we are faithful and obedient to this commandment then we abide in Him and when we abide in Him we fulfill the requirements of the Law because He fulfilled the requirements of the Law, not because of any act on our part, but because of His righteousness.

This is what I mean by binding someone to the law.  This is what I mean by the difference between faithfulness and obedience and a works doctrine.

Peace,
Layla

Rich Aikers

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Re: Marriage And Divorce
« Reply #20 on: October 19, 2003, 04:51:38 PM »
Quote
The easiest thing to do is to point an accusing finger of blame at your wife, and seek to find those who will validate, Biblically, why you have every right to divorce a sinful adulteress.  Even a well meaning pastor, in his ignorance has given you cause for divorce.

The second easiest thing to do is to treat your wife in such an unloving, and unforgiving way that she finally feels that there is nothing left to do, but to seek for divorce.  You are vindicated, after all does not the Bible tell us that if the unbeliever chooses to separate from the marriage covenant then you are free from bondage?  

This sounds like you are blaming me when the wife is the one who went out and committed adultery? You say the easiest thing to do is to point an accusing finger of blame at your wife? Yes, she's the one committing adultery, not me. Why would I accuse myself of adultery? What am I supposed to do, just go home with her as she is with who knows who, who knows when? Isn't there some middle ground here?

I have read the post and it does give me something to think about. But what if the wife continues in her adulterous activity?





Erik Diamond

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Re: Marriage And Divorce
« Reply #21 on: October 19, 2003, 07:19:25 PM »
I suggest that you read Tony Warren's study on divorce and remarriage at http://www.mountainretreatorg.net/bible/divorce.html

I will pray for you and your wife.

Erik Diamond
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)

stacia

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Re: Marriage And Divorce
« Reply #22 on: November 09, 2003, 06:42:15 AM »
Dear All,
 
If a person divorces his wife and gets married again before he is saved what will be he called after getting saved a man with one wife or two wives?
The man is living with his present wife alone.

John

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Re: Marriage And Divorce
« Reply #23 on: November 09, 2003, 12:01:22 PM »
The assumption is that there is such a thing as 'divorce', that in some manner we can actually separate the joining of a man and a woman in marriage. Man cannot do this.

Mar 10:9  what therefore God did join together, let not man put asunder.'

Though divorced people remarry, they are under the delusion that what God has ordained can be overthrown by state or federal laws permitting divorce. We can make divorce legal, homosexuality legal, abortion legal, adultery, and fornication legal. However, God has not -- man cannot change the Law of God by passing his own laws.

Mar 10:8  and they shall be--the two--for one flesh; so that they are no more two, but one flesh;

Marriage then is the spiritual union of the man and woman, they are no more two but one flesh in the eyes of God. This God ordained union could not be separated except by death of the spouse, thereby breaking the bond that joins them.

Rom 7:2  For the married woman was bound by Law to the living husband; but if the husband dies, she is set free from the Law of the husband.

1Co 7:39  A wife is bound by law for as long a time as her husband lives; but if her husband sleeps, she is free to be married to whomever she desires, only in the Lord.

If the Bible is our guide, and not the imagination of man, then if we have married a second wife (or husband) while our first still lives we have committed adultery against the spouse and now have two wives (husbands). We cannot undo this sin by divorcing, for there is no such thing (except in our imagination). Sin cannot be remedied by more sin. Remaining married to the second spouse as long as they live is the Biblical course of action. The first wife/husband should not remarry to avoid further sin.

Mar 10:11  and he saith to them, `Whoever may put away his wife, and may marry another, doth commit adultery against her;

It is not that adultery can be forgiven so let us divorce and remarry and ask forgiveness later. Thinking that way would expose an unfaithful and rebellious heart -- testifying against you. Rather, if we are divorced, seek to be reconciled ... barring that, do not remarry.

1Co 7:11  but if indeed she is separated, remain unmarried, or be reconciled to the husband; and a husband not to leave his wife.

Bottom line: No divorce is permitted or provided for under the law of God. You should seek to be reconciled, unless you have bound yourself to another spouse, in which case you must remain. Seeking divorce is sin and should not be winked at presuming that forgiveness can be found later. A lawless heart may be indicative of a dead spirit -- it is no small matter to shake the fist at God seeking your own will. For those contemplating divorce -- knowing you seek rebellion -- repent and obey! What do you profit if you get what you seek -- divorce or remarriage -- and lose something eternally precious.

Mar 8:36  For what shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?

If you were slaves of Christ then be obedient to Him, divorce is not difficult to understand, but perhaps difficult when we seek our own carnal desires, so Obey God.

Rom 6:16  Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves as slaves for obedience, you are slaves to whom you obey, whether of sin to death, or obedience to righteousness?

john
Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!

andreas

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Re: Marriage And Divorce
« Reply #24 on: November 10, 2003, 01:57:19 AM »
Divorce is not an option for the christian whose marriage is troubled.The Lord hates divorce.Malachi 2:14-16 .The way out is repentance,confession of sin,forgiveness,reconciliation,the will to love,and changed behaviour.Hard is it?Not as hard as it was for God to maintain His marriage to you at Golgotha.Lets not conveniently forget that Moses permitted men to divorce because of hardness of their hearts. Matt.19:9
andreas. 8)
kai ean diabainhs dió udatos meta sou eimi kai potamoi ou sugklusousin se kai ean dielqhs dia puros ou mh katakauqhs flox ou katakausei Isaiah 43:2

Robert63

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Re: Marriage And Divorce
« Reply #25 on: February 14, 2004, 09:18:36 AM »
Dan,
  You certainly cannot judge biblical christians by the acts of one man. Oral Roberts is not representative of either reformed, or biblical christians.



Yeah but a lot of good people respect high profile conservative people like George Bush, Rush Linbaugh, and Bob Jones, and so when they do things which are unethical, dishonest or unbiblical, it puts a bad light on all conservative christians. Don't you think that is true?

cindyw

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Re: Marriage And Divorce
« Reply #26 on: February 28, 2004, 11:11:04 PM »
The assumption is that there is such a thing as 'divorce', that in some manner we can actually separate the joining of a man and a woman in marriage. Man cannot do this.

Mar 10:9  what therefore God did join together, let not man put asunder.'

Though divorced people remarry, they are under the delusion that what God has ordained can be overthrown by state or federal laws permitting divorce. We can make divorce legal, homosexuality legal, abortion legal, adultery, and fornication legal. However, God has not -- man cannot change the Law of God by passing his own laws.

Mar 10:8  and they shall be--the two--for one flesh; so that they are no more two, but one flesh;

If the Bible is our guide, and not the imagination of man, then if we have married a second wife (or husband) while our first still lives we have committed adultery against the spouse and now have two wives (husbands). We cannot undo this sin by divorcing, for there is no such thing (except in our imagination). Sin cannot be remedied by more sin. Remaining married to the second spouse as long as they live is the Biblical course of action. The first wife/husband should not remarry to avoid further sin.

Mar 10:11  and he saith to them, `Whoever may put away his wife, and may marry another, doth commit adultery against her;

It is not that adultery can be forgiven so let us divorce and remarry and ask forgiveness later. Thinking that way would expose an unfaithful and rebellious heart -- testifying against you. Rather, if we are divorced, seek to be reconciled ... barring that, do not remarry.

1Co 7:11  but if indeed she is separated, remain unmarried, or be reconciled to the husband; and a husband not to leave his wife.

Bottom line: No divorce is permitted or provided for under the law of God. You should seek to be reconciled, unless you have bound yourself to another spouse, in which case you must remain. john

Hi John,

I have to disagree with you here.   You posted Rom. 7:2-3.   In that scripture Paul states that a woman will be called an adulteress if she remarry as long as her husband is alive........

That shows that she is in a state of CONTINUAL adultery because in God's eyes, she is not "joined" with this new husband, she belongs to another-----hence the label of "adulteress".

You rightly said in your opening statements that MAN cannot undo what God has joined.   He can commit sin against what has been joined (adultery----which is what Jesus calls a second marriage).   How does one repent of adultery------they leave it.   I don't quite understand how many teach that a person should stay in a relationship Jesus called adultery----not marriage.   Yes, our culture calls it a marriage, but does God?   Blessings in Jesus, Cindy :)

cindyw

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Re: Marriage And Divorce
« Reply #27 on: February 28, 2004, 11:30:36 PM »
Sandy,

I just want to say GREAT posts!!  I have seen EXACTLY the same things in the studies on marriage/divorce I have been doing for the past 2 years.   I truly believe the Lord is opening up more and more of our eyes to the Truth and how far the Church has fallen from it in our quest for "happiness".........Thanks for standing for that Truth.   Blessings in Jesus, Cindy :)

prover2

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Re: Marriage And Divorce
« Reply #28 on: March 02, 2004, 10:58:12 PM »
I am struggling with the issue of divorce and am looking for your views on the issue. My pastor tells me that in the case of my wife committing adultery, it is proper for me to divorce her because of the exception for fornication.

"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." Matthew 18:9

I don't want to stay with her because I don't really trust her anymore, but this leaves me wanting to accept that advice, but with my conscience bothering me. What is the christian thing to do. Is it lawful for me to divorce her because of this?
---------------------------------------------------

The Christian thing to do is to forgive her.


cindyw

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Re: Marriage And Divorce
« Reply #29 on: March 05, 2004, 12:21:15 AM »
Quote
Hello Layla, you hit the nail head on. when his wife
commited adultery, she left him. He is free and He is divorced.  
Peace Earl
Quote

What do you do with Mt. 19:9?   In that passage which many say shows the "exception clause" allowing for remarriage------the husband has committed adultery (remarriage) and the left wife is not allowed to remarry without committing sin as would the 2nd husband...............Just a thought.   Blessings in Jesus, cindy :)

 


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