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Author Topic: When Should A Christian Apologize?  (Read 32664 times)

Chicago Bear

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Re: When Should A Christian Apologize?
« Reply #45 on: August 08, 2009, 11:37:31 AM »
Tony Warren, friend of righteousness, the needy, the Baptists, Presbyterians, Reformed, Puritans, Lutherans, you just don't care who you associate with, do you ;)

 Mark 9:38-40 And John answered him, saying, Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name, and he followeth not us: and we forbad him, because he followeth not us.
 But Jesus said, Forbid him not: for there is no man which shall do a miracle in my name, that can lightly speak evil of me. For he that is not against us is on our part.
 
In other words, leave the denominations alone, deal with what they are saying and doing! Amen! Thanks Tony!

To be on topic, "when Should a Christian apologize?" When he or she has offended another Christian, regardless of denomination, race, creeds, country or political party. It's no different than when your mom made you apologize to your sister for some offense. That's what family is all about. And more so in the Christian family. Or so it should be.
Either the Bible will Keep you from Sin, or sin will keep you from the Bible

Penne

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Re: When Should A Christian Apologize?
« Reply #46 on: August 09, 2009, 07:01:40 PM »
I donít have a problem apologizing to anyone.   I do offer my apology to anyone who goes by the name Baptist.  To those Baptist who truly divide the Word righteously and love God and are constantly seeking truth.  They are my brothers and sisters in Christ.  God bless them.

I wasnít aware there are righteous Baptist left, Iím glad to be wrong. 

Penne

Reformed Baptist

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Re: When Should A Christian Apologize?
« Reply #47 on: August 09, 2009, 08:14:32 PM »
I donít have a problem apologizing to anyone.   I do offer my apology to anyone who goes by the name Baptist.

Reformed Baptist? ...That be Me ;)


Quote
  To those Baptist who truly divide the Word righteously and love God and are constantly seeking truth.  They are my brothers and sisters in Christ.  God bless them.

Thanks! There are a lot of us here.  Most just don't wear their name on their sleeve like me :)

 God Bless Penne, apology accepted! Might be my turn next.




Quote
I wasnít aware there are righteous Baptist left, Iím glad to be wrong. 

Penne

 Well, we're all wrong sometime. Just your turn.

Chicago Bear

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Re: When Should A Christian Apologize?
« Reply #48 on: August 09, 2009, 10:05:55 PM »
Quote
I donít have a problem apologizing to anyone.   I do offer my apology to anyone who goes by the name Baptist.

Class move Penne.

Quote
I wasnít aware there are righteous Baptist left, Iím glad to be wrong. 

I believe that half the Christians on this forum are either Baptist or from Baptist Churches. A lot of Good Baptist Christians.
Either the Bible will Keep you from Sin, or sin will keep you from the Bible

matt205

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Re: When Should A Christian Apologize?
« Reply #49 on: August 10, 2009, 11:51:16 AM »
 Real Christians Don't Apologize

Romans 8:9-21  (9-30-07)

http://sermons.wspc.org/audio/2007_09_30.wma


Herman Stowe

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Re: When Should A Christian Apologize?
« Reply #50 on: August 11, 2009, 08:20:57 AM »

I believe that half the Christians on this forum are either Baptist or from Baptist Churches. A lot of Good Baptist Christians.



 Oh, it's more than half, I'll tell you that. Maybe as much as 3/4. That's why it's amazing that people might think there aren't any good Baptists left. Most of the posts in this forum are from Good Baptists. 

Penne, I hope you didn't feel put upon by the people to apologize, but by the Spirit. I'm sure no Christian here holds any ill will. Christians are one big family, dysfunctional at times, but always a family bound together in love. And I'm also glad that you didn't blame the Baptists for being offended. That was very big of you.

Now I have to go and apologize to my wife for snapping at her yesterday. That's where I learned not to blame the person I'm apologizing to. It kinda backfires.   ;)


Dwight

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Re: When Should A Christian Apologize?
« Reply #51 on: August 11, 2009, 12:54:17 PM »

I think the proper Christian attitude toward small offenses is two-fold:  First, stop being hurt by every little thing, which means you must stop thinking the worst of everyone Ė and to do that you'll have to stop thinking so highly of yourself and your own importance. No doubt with a correct opinion of your own self-worth apart from Godís grace, all the attacks in the world would be of such little importance - what is there in this perishing world that you must be offended over it?  With that in mind, take the time to analyze why you feel offended when you are. If it something needing to be resolved, something incontrovertibly damaging Ė then take the steps to remedy the matter, but it ought to be approached with proper Christian charity and prayer.

Secondly, being genuinely offended, first deal privately with the person - state your case plainly (without overstatement) and make it clear how you were personally affected. And then go your way. Leave the matter with God Ė you are not there for an apology or to get-even, but, if there is error, to restore fellowship.

Likewise, we should on this forum first ask for clarification openly, with charity, and refrain from assuming the worst. The best rule is to assume you have misunderstood and give the benefit of the doubt to the other person. Iím speaking here of perceived slights that crop up on forums Ė not open rebellion or people peddling false gospels Ė to those we confront openly. Ah, wouldn't it be pleasant if everyone considered the other person more highly than themselves (me included)? I think so.

I'd like to simply quote something from a very biblical Reformed pastor whom I've come to respect in giving sound advise.


"The hard struggle of a wounded ego fighting for survival. It is hard for us to acknowledge our regret or sorrow. It is hard for us to admit it to ourselves, to acknowledge it before God, and perhaps hardest of all for us to name it to the one whom we have hurt. Even when we are successful at naming our sorrow in some cases, it is easy for us to ruin perfectly good apologies with excuses. Often in the face of an apology, we will feel a need to give supporting evidence, reasons, conditions, circumstances, and our "rationale at the time" that somehow shaped why we said or did something. And every time we offer this supporting evidence for our actions or inaction, we take a little of the weightiness of our apologies away.

By Rev Marc Nelesen - from a sermon on apology preached in 2006
"

A very wise man. We'd all do well to consider his words, rather than find ways to negate them.


Matrix

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Re: When Should A Christian Apologize?
« Reply #52 on: August 12, 2009, 10:40:54 AM »

"The hard struggle of a wounded ego fighting for survival. It is hard for us to acknowledge our regret or sorrow. It is hard for us to admit it to ourselves, to acknowledge it before God, and perhaps hardest of all for us to name it to the one whom we have hurt. Even when we are successful at naming our sorrow in some cases, it is easy for us to ruin perfectly good apologies with excuses. Often in the face of an apology, we will feel a need to give supporting evidence, reasons, conditions, circumstances, and our "rationale at the time" that somehow shaped why we said or did something. And every time we offer this supporting evidence for our actions or inaction, we take a little of the weightiness of our apologies away.

By Rev Marc Nelesen - from a sermon on apology preached in 2006
"

A very wise man. We'd all do well to consider his words, rather than find ways to negate them.


I like it!  Sounds like one of those rare very cerebral teachers who are led by the spirit. Who is he?


Theo

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Re: When Should A Christian Apologize?
« Reply #53 on: August 12, 2009, 12:09:34 PM »

 Who is he?



Marc Nelesen is pastor of Third Christian Reformed Church, Zeeland, Michigan.

http://www.reformedworship.org


Dryfus

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Re: When Should A Christian Apologize?
« Reply #54 on: October 14, 2009, 08:08:17 PM »

 Psalm 10:10 He croucheth, and humbleth himself, that the poor may fall by his strong ones.

No, never apologize, even when you are wrong. It's a sign of weakness.

The whole world is a Stage

Red

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Re: When Should A Christian Apologize?
« Reply #55 on: October 15, 2009, 09:48:50 AM »
Often!

"For in "many things" we ( yes, even the holy apostle included himself) offend all..." James 3:2

But sad to say, many are like the scornful, sullen, surly servant of Proverbs 29:19:

"A servant (Christians are God's servants) will not be corrected by words: for though he understand he will not answer."

If you explain things carefully and clearly, he will not agree or submit. Though you ask questions he understands, he will not answer!

Christians should "never" be such blots on their Savior. They should take corrections with cheerfylness and contrition. They should makes amends as quick as possible.

Let us be the quickest to say we are sorry when shown our faults. If we refuse to do so, it is a mark of a reprobate. As Christians, we should avoid such peutations. If we have had displayed such a spirit in the past, let us confess our sins and folly to God and others: Proverbs 28:13; Job 33:27; 34:31-32; 1John 1:9 ; and your GOd will receive you and you will help to make others around you more Christ like.

I have said to my wife of forty plus years, "I am sorry" many times, and most likey will many times more.

Red Baker

"And he shewed me a pure river of water, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb."~Revelation 22:1

In the world to come~there WILL BE "pure pleasures"~river/tree=all that is needed to sustain us Forever! Joy, peace, contentment in its fullest, etc.

Red

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Re: When Should A Christian Apologize?
« Reply #56 on: October 15, 2009, 09:53:36 AM »
By the way, dear saints...I am a Baptist, even though I worship at home.  ;)

Your brother, Red Baker
"And he shewed me a pure river of water, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb."~Revelation 22:1

In the world to come~there WILL BE "pure pleasures"~river/tree=all that is needed to sustain us Forever! Joy, peace, contentment in its fullest, etc.

Tony Warren

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Re: When Should A Christian Apologize?
« Reply #57 on: October 15, 2009, 10:35:14 AM »
>>>
Psalm 10:10 He croucheth, and humbleth himself, that the poor may fall by his strong ones.

No, never apologize, even when you are wrong. It's a sign of weakness.
<<<

Dryfus,
  Scripture out of context is pretext. That line of yours is better suited for a Gangster film, not Christian behavior. Let's read that scripture of yours in its Context.
 
Psalms 10:8-12
  • "He sitteth in the lurking places of the villages: in the secret places doth he murder the innocent: his eyes are privily set against the poor.
  • He lieth in wait secretly as a lion in his den: he lieth in wait to catch the poor: he doth catch the poor, when he draweth him into his net.
  • He croucheth, and humbleth himself, that the poor may fall by his strong ones.
  • He hath said in his heart, God hath forgotten: he hideth his face; he will never see it.
  • Arise, O LORD; O God, lift up thine hand: forget not the humble.

Blessed are the humble few who can apologize. For there be many who cannot find it within themselves to do so.


"nosce te ipsum"
 
Peace,
Tony Warren
"I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah. -Psalms 32:5"

Dustin

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Re: When Should A Christian Apologize?
« Reply #58 on: January 03, 2010, 08:17:41 AM »
While doing a Google search, I found this website from the title, "when should a Christian apologize?" And I found it very interesting that there are still so many Christians who resist apologies. I continue to be amazed at the resistance in the Christian community to even talking about apology, regret or repentance with others. Their reply is that, "That's between me and my God." But is it? This forum thread seemed a microcosm of that bad Christian behavior rejecting apology which stems from pride. While most accepted that apologies were in order, the main culprits resisted it, and thus extended and prolonged the whole resentment, bad feelings and healing process far above what would have occurred if there was the quick admitting error and moving on. And that's what I find so fascinating about people. they tend to make matters worse by their pride fullness. A proverb that Christians should take heed of is 13:10

"Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom". -Proverb 13:10

Contention gives birth to pride, and that is what I witnessed in this thread. Pride and contention, contention and pride, no one with the wisdom to simply say, My mistake. Seems to me it all down to one simple Christian acronym, A.F.M.  "Admit" it, "Fix" it, and "Move On". So simple and yet Christians make it so complicated by introducing other things because of their hurt feelings or pride. I believe that even as Christians we allow our pride to rule us because we don't want to look bad to others. We're still ruled to some degree by the pride of this life.  This too is sin.

I heard one comment that struck me curious. "Why should Christians apologize when others are not expected to do the same?" Well, because Christians are not like others. Or at least, they're not supposed to be. They are Christians, and as such, answer to a higher authority. There is nothing wrong with having a contrite heart. The world things it makes us weak, but Christians should know better.

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise". -Psalm 51:17

Finally, I believe that a sincere Christian apology for our careless words and actions is less about easing our own guilt, and more about helping heal those who we have hurt. Yes, we should have compassion for them. We often need those words of contrition from a fellow sinner who is bound to be a representative of Jesus.

Pearson

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Re: When Should A Christian Apologize?
« Reply #59 on: January 03, 2010, 09:35:25 AM »
[Soapbox mode on]

Welcome Dustin,
 Nicely stated. You'll get no argument from me. It seems the spirit is always willing, but the flesh is weak.


Just My two cents

[Soapbox mode off]

 


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