[ Home | Eschatology | Bible Studies | Classics | Articles | Sermons | Apologetics | Search | F.A.Q. ]

Author Topic: Can a Husband Rape His Own Wife  (Read 1609 times)

Dustin

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 30
  • Gender: Male
  • My Grace Is Sufficient
Can a Husband Rape His Own Wife
« on: February 16, 2017, 06:16:41 AM »
I posted this question on another board and only got yes answers, mostly from women. But I'm still torn. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying a husband can't rape his wife or that he should, I'm asking this from a strictly biblical viewpoint, and want a biblical rather than worldview or feminist answer. Isn't she supposed to be his and he hers?

NTG

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 2
Re: Can a Husband Rape His Own Wife
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2017, 11:14:05 AM »
Dustin,

I really can't imagine a case where forcing sex with another person is not a reprehensible act.  No matter the relationship.

I think that Ephesians 5 makes it pretty clear that the compassion a believing husband has for his wife - his own flesh - should preclude such an act.

I would think that for the believer that even thinking of such an act would be a LOUD cry to get some help.

Quote
Ephesians 5: 21-33
 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;

21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Russell Lloyd

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 34
  • Gender: Male
  • Always Learning
Re: Can a Husband Rape His Own Wife
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2017, 11:46:01 AM »

I think the greater question is, should the wife say no, and put the husband into this situation? Let me clarify. Often the wife uses this tactic as a form of blackmail or to get her way in something the husband doesn't want to do. Anyone? An interesting question indeed.

Betty

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 326
  • Obviously I'm a Novice
Re: Can a Husband Rape His Own Wife
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2017, 01:11:35 PM »
I'm not saying a husband can't rape his wife or that he should, I'm asking this from a strictly biblical viewpoint, and want a biblical rather than worldview or feminist answer.

But you are saying a husband can't rape his wife when you imply that it may not be possible for him to do that. So in effect you are condoning it. Rape is violence, not love. A woman has every right to deny her husband sexual favors at any time, and the husband has no right to force her. Not to mention it's illegal.


Quote
Isn't she supposed to be his and he hers?

That doesn't make her unable to say no. No means no. I only wish men would get that through their thick skulls. Love won't allow for rape of a spouse.

bram

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 124
  • Gender: Male
  • Obviously I'm a Novice
Re: Can a Husband Rape His Own Wife
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2017, 12:15:56 AM »
 The liberals say the woman has all the rights
  The moslims say the man has all the rights

But we said with 1 Cor 7:5

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Living a truthfull christian life, this question doesn't come to your mind, I believe.
trust in de Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding

Terrell Meyer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 101
  • Obviously I'm a Novice
Re: Can a Husband Rape His Own Wife
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2017, 02:56:01 AM »

I really can't imagine a case where forcing sex with another person is not a reprehensible act.  No matter the relationship.

Good point. But on the other hand, I can't think of a case where a Christian husband would be put in that position by a "Christian" wife in the first place. Because she is commanded by God to be under the man's authority and to give herself to him freely and willingly. We have to look at both sides of the coin, not just repeat the modern day secular philosophies.

Also, we have to ask ourselves, does the word rape apply to those who are joined together as one flesh before God and in a sexual relationship continually? Rape is a very serious charge, carrying a penalty of an average 10 years in prison for a husband? What does the Bible teach about the proper sexual relationship between a husband and a wife? God commands that the wife not withhold herself from him because God gives the man the authority over the woman's body when they are married. I know this is something women and a lot of men don't want to hear in our day of feminist rebellion, but God says  neither the wife nor the husband have control over their own bodies, but the one over the other. It's very important for Christians to distinguish between secular law and God authored law. Especially in our day.

 I Cor. 7:4-5
"The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency".

In other words, this is stating that the husband should render due conjugal visits to his wife, and the wife should also do the same to her husband "as if" their bodies were not their own, because they are not. Her body belongs to him, and his to her.  In our modern and unchristian society this makes no sense. But in God's prudence, the wife does not have power over her own body, but the husband does. And in the same way, the husband does not have power over his own body, but the wife does. Where does this allow for a charge of Rape against the husband in a Christian court? I do not believe that it does. If a woman doesn't care about God's laws and doesn't want to be with her husband sexually anymore, she should leave him, not file rape charges against him

Bottom line, according to God's law the wife is not to deprive her husband his conjugal dues, except it is by consent of both parties and only for a time. I think that is what Dustin was getting at in his initial post. If the husband is charged with rape under God's law, according to that same law, shouldn't the wife be charged with violation of God's commands? Both are guilty of violating God's law.  :baghead:


Terrell Meyer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 101
  • Obviously I'm a Novice
Re: Can a Husband Rape His Own Wife
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2017, 02:56:29 AM »
Isn't she supposed to be his and he hers?

That doesn't make her unable to say no.

Betty,
  That's exactly what it means, that she is unable to say no if she is to be obedient to God's law.  Unless of course they both consent together, for a time.

 I Cor. 7:4-5
"The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency".

What you don't understand that God is saying in that verse is that he has instituted that sex within marriage must involve a concern for the needs of your spouse, not your own selfish moods, blackmails or punishments. Likewise the husband should have concerns for the needs of his wife, and not his own selfish pleasures, punishments or whatever. It's a two way street. The wife cannot use sex as punishment or for blackmail. As Dustin rightly pointed out, their bodies belong to each other.

Reformer

  • Affiliate Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 1520
  • Reformed and Evangelical
Re: Can a Husband Rape His Own Wife
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2017, 03:32:12 AM »
Betty,
  That's exactly what it means, that she is unable to say no if she is to be obedient to God's law.  Unless of course they both consent together, for a time.

 I Cor. 7:4-5
"The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency".

What you don't understand that God is saying in that verse is that he has instituted that sex within marriage must involve a concern for the needs of your spouse, not your own selfish moods, blackmails or punishments. Likewise the husband should have concerns for the needs of his wife, and not his own selfish pleasures, punishments or whatever. It's a two way street. The wife cannot use sex as punishment or for blackmail. As Dustin rightly pointed out, their bodies belong to each other.

 :BibleRead:  :Goodpoint: 
Some nice points Terrell, but I hope you have your bullet-proof vest handy! ;)

Terrell Meyer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 101
  • Obviously I'm a Novice
Re: Can a Husband Rape His Own Wife
« Reply #8 on: February 17, 2017, 08:45:39 AM »
:BibleRead:  :Goodpoint: 
Some nice points Terrell, but I hope you have your bullet-proof vest handy! ;)

I know I'm going to get lambasted (hence the bagged head), but in life, who do you trust more. The people who tell you what you want to hear, or the people who tell you what you need to hear?

bloodstone

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 218
  • I'm a llama!
Re: Can a Husband Rape His Own Wife
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2017, 12:49:19 AM »
 Ephsians 5:22-25
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it."

Terrell is correct. My additional question would be, how could a Christian husband rape his wife when the wife is commanded to submit to her husband as unto the Lord? She would be in rebellion against God in not submitting herself. Likewise the husband is to love his wife even as Christ loved the church. So how is there a rape among Christian spouses? Rape laws should be for non Christians, because there should be no possibility of that for Christians. Also, being a conservative, I think that the government should stay out of the family lives of Christians in matters like the bedroom, child rearing and education. Like someone said, if the wife doesn't want to submit, she should leave the husband, the church and the bible. I think that Ephesians 5 makes it pretty clear that the love of the believing wife and husband, as his own flesh, precludes such an act.

Reformer

  • Affiliate Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 1520
  • Reformed and Evangelical
Re: Can a Husband Rape His Own Wife
« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2017, 05:47:00 AM »
Ephsians 5:22-25
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it."

how could a Christian husband rape his wife when the wife is commanded to submit to her husband as unto the Lord?

Obviously there could be a rape (sexual relations without consent), but in the Christian economy, the wife would be culpable also, having herself violated God's word. But that doesn't excuse the man. When God says husbands love your wives, that is not in word only, but in deed as well. I have a hard time believing that any rape is done in love of the wife. While I don't agree with the feminist position that rape is an act of violence, not lust or emotion, I do agree it is an act of violence. The Christian man should honor his wife, and to rape her is to dishonor her.

 1Th 4:4 That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;
 5 Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:

The Christian should possess his wife in sanctification and honor, not dishonor. Yes, she would be in rebellion against God in not submitting herself, but the husband would also be at fault in treating her as a slave and not as bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh, as in the Christ, church union. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.


Shirley

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 128
  • Gender: Female
  • The Spirit of Christ
Re: Can a Husband Rape His Own Wife
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2017, 02:11:39 PM »

The answer to this question is "of course".  If a women says no to her husband and he continues on, then the act is rape. It does not matter what the relationship between the man and the women was. The two could have just had consensual sex together, but it's still rape if she says no to doing it again.

William B

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 51
Re: Can a Husband Rape His Own Wife
« Reply #12 on: February 19, 2017, 02:44:35 AM »

I think the term “marital rape” is a contradiction of words. You can't rape your wife since she is obligated to submit to you. The world can define anything it wants any way it wants, but how can there be a Christian rape? Someone explain that to me.

Philly Dawg

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 423
  • Thinking Christians
Re: Can a Husband Rape His Own Wife
« Reply #13 on: February 19, 2017, 03:44:45 AM »
 :S_Confused: I'm actually torn on this issue. I can't decide definitively. Sometimes I think yes, then sometimes I read scripture and think no. It's a tossup. I could be swayed either way.
  Kellyanne Conway: Sometimes Trump Lies Because
 He Doesn't Know the Truth, Okay?

Rose

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 90
  • De 8:8 "A land of oil olive, and honey.."
Re: Can a Husband Rape His Own Wife
« Reply #14 on: February 19, 2017, 04:36:28 AM »
:S_Confused: I'm actually torn on this issue. I can't decide definitively. Sometimes I think yes, then sometimes I read scripture and think no. It's a tossup. I could be swayed either way.

I'm surprised at you. You are usually level headed. I don't see how anyone can be in support of spousal rape. I woman has the right to say no. You can't deny that.
"I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys." - S.O.S. 2:1

 


[ Home | Eschatology | Bible Studies | Classics | Articles | Sermons | Apologetics | Search | F.A.Q. ]