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Author Topic: How to Confess Your Sins to Others  (Read 157 times)

Erik Diamond

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How to Confess Your Sins to Others
« on: August 02, 2017, 01:15:46 PM »

Jas 5:16
[16]  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Since I am not a member of a local church where I could ask pastor or someone to help with my issues, so I like your feedback on this.   

I went to stay at my father's house for a while. There is a woman who happened to be my father's third wife who claimed to be self-anointed pastor. I had a heated debate with her that I do not believe that God has called her or any woman to be pastor according to Scripture. She said that she become a pastor because God has "told her" through prayer which I knew is unbiblical.  After this, she had strong resentment against me.

Then I have observed something that is not quite right with her.  For example, she and my father were watching television shows that does not glorify God like Big Bangs, Will and Grace, Modern Family, or even watched Joyce Meyers ministries.  I asked my father directly why they watched such shows.  His wife came between me and my father and said in my face that I have no business to judge what they do in their own house. That was before I replied, "And you justify this while considered yourself as pastor? What will this show to God about your behavior in your own home when you believe God has called you to be pastor before his congregation?" She did not answer but she was obviously offended and demanded my father to ask me to leave their house ASAP. 

Her belief is similar to Word Faith ministries on "blessings" "promises" "happiness", and "healing," etc.  I have discussed my concerns with my father privately about his place as head of the house to make sure his wife and her doctrine are based on Scripture.  Sadly, he is too passive that he allows his wife to do whatever she wants because he saw "blessings" coming to his home with new cars, furniture, consistent trips to Bahamas, etc. He said that his wife loves the Lord so much that God has blessed them.

Well I have returned home on my term and have not speak with my father's wife directly for two years.  Last night, she finally texted yesterday, saying, "Erik, the Bible says that I need to get with you to tell you how sorry I am. But I am not prefect. I am not holy.  Do you have anything to forgive me? Because I do, and I forgive you even you don't asked me to do it.
I want to get things right with you, my husband and God.

This statement bothered me because she does not sound sincere about her accountability. Or it may be "false guilt."  No confess of specific sins as James 5:16 stated above, but a blanket statement that she is not prefect nor holy, yet she seeks forgiveness from me regardless.  I want to forgive but I don't feel comfortable after the fact that she still continue to be pastor and deceives my father with lavish lifestyle.   


I am not sure how to response to her so I prayed to God about how to handle this.  So I like your feedback on this.   

Thank you.
 
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)

Apostolic

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Re: How to Confess Your Sins to Others
« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2017, 07:15:24 PM »
I don't think it's your right to tell her anything since you are not a member of her church nor do you consider her as your sister in Christ. If she asks you about it, that's another thing. But to just inject your views upon her is like going to another church and standing up and telling the pastor that he's wrong in what he believes. That's not your job. If it's not your church, what right do you have to get in his face and tell him what to believe?

If you came to my church and told my pastor that she has no right to preach, I would throw you out also.

Erik Diamond

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Re: How to Confess Your Sins to Others
« Reply #2 on: August 02, 2017, 08:34:01 PM »
I disagree and I do not think you understand what I was saying. 
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)

Kenneth White

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Re: How to Confess Your Sins to Others
« Reply #3 on: August 03, 2017, 11:23:32 AM »
Erik, do you think she's a part of a false church?
Proverbs 1:5-6 "A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels: To understand a proverb, and the interpretation; the words of the wise, and their dark sayings."

Erik Diamond

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Re: How to Confess Your Sins to Others
« Reply #4 on: August 03, 2017, 11:33:09 AM »
I do not know what church she went. She never told me the name of her spanish speaking church.  I assume that if the church allows her to preach before the congregation. It is likely a false church.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)

Bruce

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Re: How to Confess Your Sins to Others
« Reply #5 on: August 04, 2017, 11:35:46 AM »

Jas 5:16
[16]  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

I am not sure how to response to her so I prayed to God about how to handle this.  So I like your feedback on this.   

Thank you.

This verse says confess your sins. What sin have you committed against her? I don't think telling her she is wrong in her belief is a sin. So I'm at a loss to see what sin you think you need to confess to her? Tell us. And when it says confess your sins one to another, she's not a member of your church and the word is talking about church members.

Tra Millwood

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Re: How to Confess Your Sins to Others
« Reply #6 on: August 04, 2017, 12:44:26 PM »
Jamess 5:16
"Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.


Burkett Commentary
Jas 5:16
Note here, 1. That there is a time and season when it is our duty to confess our sins, not only to God, but to one another, to a pious and prudent minister, to an injured and wronged neighbour, to those that have been tempted by us, and have consented with us in sinning.
Note, 2. How absurdly the Papists ground their practice of auricular confession upon this text, here is not one word spoken of a priest, nor of our confessing to him: and if so, the text proves it the priest's duty to confess to the people, as much as the people's to confess to the priest, for the duty required is mutual, confess one to another; accordingly the words are generally understood of confessing private injuries one to another: that the sick person must reconcile himself to his neighbour as well as to God, that he may recover; for so it follows, pray for one another, that ye may be healed; intimating, that it is the duty of Christians to confess their miscarriages and private injuries one to another, and by their prayers to succour, help, and relieve each other; it is the duty of the strong to pray for the weak, and the strong may be strengthened by the prayers of the weak.

Observe here, 1. The qualification of that prayer, which at that time was effectual for the recovery of the sick person in a miraculous manner, it may be rendered an inspired prayer; as they that were actuated by the evil spirits, so such as were moved by the impulses of the Holy Spirit, were called Energoumenoi, in a good sense, the phrase properly signifies a prayer inwardly wrought and excited, and implies the efficacious influence of the Holy Spirit, and the force and vehemency of a Christian's spirit and affection exerted and put forth in the duty; in wrought prayer, or prayer that works in and upon our own hearts, has a mighty prevalency with God.

Observe, 2. The qualification of the person praying, a righteous man, not legally righteous, one in a state of sinless perfection, but a person justified by faith, and whose faith is fruitful in good works.

Observe, 3. The prevalency and efficacy of such a person's prayer; it availeth much ; he doth not say how much that is better experienced than expressed; it availeth much for ourselves, sometimes more for others than for ourselves.

Note, that the fervent prayers and intercessions of the righteous have a mighty prevalency with God, both for themselves and others.

Erik Diamond

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Re: How to Confess Your Sins to Others
« Reply #7 on: August 04, 2017, 12:56:15 PM »
Quote from: Bruce
This verse says confess your sins. What sin have you committed against her?


What? No. I was not the one who make a confess.  Didn't you read the whole post? Per my OP, I explained my father's wife's background and her belief, before she was the one who texted me  and "confessed her sins" to me which she did not spelled it out.  Just said that she is not prefect, nor holy, which I know that we all aren't anyway.  Let me copy and paste part of my OP for you to read again:


Quote from: Erik Diamond
"Well I have returned home on my term and have not speak with my father's wife directly for two years.  Last night, she finally texted yesterday, saying, "Erik, the Bible says that I need to get with you to tell you how sorry I am. But I am not prefect. I am not holy. Do you have anything to forgive me? Because I do, and I forgive you even you don't asked me to do it. I want to get things right with you, my husband and God.

This statement bothered me because she does not sound sincere about her accountability. Or it may be "false guilt."  No confess of specific sins as James 5:16 stated above, but a blanket statement that she is not prefect nor holy, yet she seeks forgiveness from me regardless.  I want to forgive but I don't feel comfortable after the fact that she still continue to be pastor and deceives my father with lavish lifestyle. " 

She thinks she is part of God's congregation and she believe that she has been called and anointed by God to be a pastor of her congregation which I have rebuked her. Okay?  Now I am not sure why she wanted to confess her sins to me now since she did not specific what sin she has committed against me. Does it means that she realized that she can't be a pastor? Or that she saw my point about the spiritual condition she is in?  She did not say.  She just said, "I am not prefect, I am not holy" as a blanket statement.   Yet, I see that she is still a pastor and living in lavish lifestyle supported by her and her sons' churches where they are also a pastors. She handles all the money that comes through their churches. 

My question is how can I response to her confess when I felt she does not sound sincere despite the fact that she is a pastor.  Should I tell her that she is not sincere. Or Should I tell her hat she need to stop being a pastor?  Or should I tell her that all is forgiven and pray that she still need to repent of her sins?

That is why I asked how do we reconcile James 5:16 with my situation?


Hope this help clarify some.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)

yaboo

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Re: How to Confess Your Sins to Others
« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2017, 07:58:07 AM »
Erik,
  With all due respect, it appears to me that she is attempting to find a way to mend the relationship between you two for the sake of your father, and you are attempting to find justification for continuing the rift and rejecting her apology and confession she has sinned against you. And yes, I have read the whole post. You don't seem like you want to accept her apology. You don't know her heart, how can you say it's not sincere when you haven't even seen her? Just my opinion based on what I read.

Erik Diamond

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Re: How to Confess Your Sins to Others
« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2017, 10:22:11 AM »
Yaboo,

Thanks for your opinion but I may disagree with it. 

If you testify to someone that his church is in a state of apostasy and he replied, "Well, sorry but no church is prefect nor holy." Would you accept this confession?  Of course not, he basically wanted you to accept her church the way she is despite your truthful testimony? This is how I feel about my father's wife who is not truly repentant on being pastor and other things that I testified against her.   


Point being, is telling someone you offended "Well, I am not prefect nor holy" without knowledge of specific sin or my truthful testimony, qualified to meet with the requirement of James 5:16? Yes or no? 

I did ask her for clarification on what sins did she has decided to make confess to me.  She refused by saying that she already forgave me even if I have not ask her yet, so I should accept her "confession" regardless.  See what I am saying?  I do not recall what sin I have made against her other than testimony that God did not call her to be a pastor so why did she say that she already forgive "my sin" without me ask her for it. 


Something is really fishy going on, especially after a woman who claim to be a self-anointed pastor who should know what Gospel clearly declares about her position.  Will you accept a confession from her who said, "I am not prefect nor holy, so do you have anything to forgive me" if you do not see any repentance from her on a very subject that she won't confess that she has disobeyed God's commandment?


And you believe that I was causing a rift that I do not know her heart? Of course I can't see her heart like God can, but this really has nothing to do with the sake of my father.  This has to do with her pride because her testimony and action reflects her heart, Yaboo. (Matthew 15:18) 
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)

Christopher Henson

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Re: How to Confess Your Sins to Others
« Reply #10 on: August 05, 2017, 01:25:38 PM »

Well I have returned home on my term and have not speak with my father's wife directly for two years.  Last night, she finally texted yesterday, saying, "Erik, the Bible says that I need to get with you to tell you how sorry I am. But I am not prefect. I am not holy.  Do you have anything to forgive me? Because I do, and I forgive you even you don't asked me to do it.

You say you haven't talked to her in 2 years, and you only received this text from her last night? So how do you know her sincerity or if she hasn't changed if you haven't talked to her in 2 years? Maybe you left something out I'm missing?

Erik Diamond

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Re: How to Confess Your Sins to Others
« Reply #11 on: August 05, 2017, 04:09:23 PM »
I talked with my Dad. That's how I know. 
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)

yaboo

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Re: How to Confess Your Sins to Others
« Reply #12 on: August 05, 2017, 09:53:05 PM »
That's called hearing things "second hand," which is never a good policy no matter who it is. I would get it from the horses mouth, so to speak. An apology is not an easy thing to give so personally, I tend to accept anyone's apology until they themselves prove to me it's insincere. Then I can kick the dust off my shoes against them righteously. But I don't assume based on someone else's word, which is hearsay.

Erik Diamond

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Re: How to Confess Your Sins to Others
« Reply #13 on: August 06, 2017, 12:23:37 AM »
can anyone answer this question?


Point being, is telling someone you offended "Well, I am not prefect nor holy" without knowledge of specific sin or my truthful testimony, qualified to meet with the requirement of James 5:16? Yes or no? 
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)

yaboo

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Re: How to Confess Your Sins to Others
« Reply #14 on: August 06, 2017, 01:01:52 AM »
She's not a member of the Catholic church and so she doesn't have to confess her sins to you one by one as if you were hearing her confession. She asked forgivene3ss, you forgive her. Simple as that.

Luke 17:4
"And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him".

Why are you looking for ways to not forgive her?

 


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